This post is a bit of a stream of consciousness, so it might be disjointed, but I feel the topics I cover are related. I'm going to talk about sex worker rights, trans rights and politics, so I'm sorry boys, this isn't jack off material. I am, however, still working on my forced feminization story, "Becoming Becky," so please stay tuned to this blog.
I recieved a message on Facebook today, it said, "on this day, one year ago," and had a photo of me wearing a new lip gloss. I remember the day I took that photo, it was a first date with someone from OkCupid. I remember we walked along the seawall and I told her that I was considering taking my Domme lifestyle professional. I didn't realize I had been contemplating it so early in the year last year. I guess it shows how long I've been investing in this work. It might also show how long I had tried to ignore that I really, deeply wanted to do this, and how successful I was at pushing thoughts of being a Dominatrix away.
Recently I decided to start keeping solid records of my work: appointments, clients, accounts receivable, payments, expenses and liabilities. I paid for a service that some sex workers use for bookkeeping. I signed up, the company examined my business, and I had an account established. When I went in to check my business information, I saw all my information listed along side the words, "Business Type: Independent Escort." It made this work real. I reflected on my journey over the last year, and how I got here.
When I look back and think about my life pre-transition, look at it now, and see the trajectory it's taken, it's astounding. This isn't where I expected my life to go, but I don't think I'd trade it for anything. I'm going to artsy parties, meeting eccentric people, sleeping with cute girls and getting paid for doing something I'm passionate about. I'm leading a pretty exciting life, even if some people would never understand.
I remember when I first came out, I wrote a letter to my friends. In the letter, I stated that there's so many negative stereotypes about trans women, among them I listed sex work, and I insisted that I wasn't going to be one of those stereotypes. I think, now, after living my life, the only reason I would think that "sex worker" is a negative stereotype is because I thought that being a sex worker was a bad thing.
Progressive politicians love trans issues, but they seem to have a problem with trans stories. "Center trans women in your politics! Oh, but not sex workers, or angry trans women, or poor ones, or kinky ones. Only the nice, happy, proper, upper class ones." It feels like our story is being hijacked by allies and laundered for public appeal.
I don't know how many of us ever dreamed we'd be doing sex work, but nonetheless sex work is something that thousands of us are doing. Whether that's a bad thing is entirely subjective, personally I think there's only as much shame in it as you allow there to be. Ultimately, this is our life and this is our story. We need to tell it, and we need to be honest. Sex work is part of the collective transgender story, let's not allow that to be forgotten.